Surekha Kulkarni

Addiction

You had become a habit.

It didn’t take long for this habit to turn into an addiction.

And once you get addicted either to a substance or a person, it’s the same .

Addiction is an addiction, it doesn’t matter if it is to a human.

Addiction is dangerous, you lose your balance and your thinking capabilities. You lose yourself and turn into this unrecognisable person.

You need to have it or else you crave for it .

Once this craving crosses the limit, it becomes harmful .

And the same happened with me.

I in my desperation could not see you recoiling more and more away from me.

The more you cold shouldered me, just like an addiction, I would have panic attacks and break into cold sweat .

One call, one message from you, I craved, prayed and hoped .

And when my hopes would be dashed , I would lose my mind and end up doing things which disgusted you more and you started being cruel and insensitive towards me .

And just like addiction, when I was deprived of my daily dosage , I started having withdrawal symptoms.

The heartrending part of my addiction was no one to confide or support me .

Going forth and back in hope and hopelessness, grief and sadness, I have finally come out of my addiction.

Have I recovered and moved on?

Have I forgotten your love which I felt was genuine long ago?

Have I got over the fact that I have lost you permanently?

Have I won over my fears and my dark areas?

Have I become bitter and lost hope in love and humanity?

Have I stopped caring and loving you?

Have I stopped believing in myself after this heart break?

Have no answers to the above questions

I am definitely no longer an addict .

Will remain strong and hope that you are happy in whatever you are doing .

42 comments

  1. Addiction is a natural yet nurturing part of being a human being.I believe it to be a significant part of the learning process of loving, yearning, and becoming a compassionate creature. We were created to become, as it is said: love isn’t love until it’s given away! One of the greatest mistakes many have made is when we put stipulations on love…the emotional state of being that it is! It only needs to be nourished and set free.The key element to this is to find what kind of nourishment is needed in your love language…the one that resonates between the two of you… Another key element is “to think together not necessarily to think alike!”…

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  4. I could feel what you wrote Surekha.. Addiction truly is very dangerous, therefore I feel we should never get too attached to anyone but sometimes we can’t and just like seasons when people change, we get hurt and withdrawal is the most difficult part, but as they say God gives the toughest battles to his bravest soldiers and you are a brave and exceptionally strong and a woman with a Golden heart.. You will survive every storm that’s but for sure 👍👍💕💕

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  8. Reminds me of this song sung by Parineeti Chopra I heard today:

    Maana ke hum yaar nahin
    Lo tay hai ke pyaar nahin (x2)

    Phir bhi nazrein na tum milaana
    Dil ka aitbaar nahi
    Maana ke hum yaar nahi…

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  9. Your journey from addiction to recovery is truly inspiring. It shows resilience and strength. Wishing you continued strength and happiness on your path forward. ❤❤❤

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