Kitida tula athava ve ?
This above statement in Marathi means how many times can I miss you or think about you?
Its been 5 years since my Aai passed away quietly without letting any of her children bid their good byes to her .
I spoke to her at 4 pm on 18/2/2017 , wish had known that was my last call

This is what all I would or want to tell my Aai
Aai , I love you so much , I always loved you despite being impatient and curt with you.
I know I am rude to you, fight with you, feel like you are demanding .
But no Aai, fact is I cant live without you, I love you so much, I cant do a single thing without telling you, expecting you to be a part of it .

I love you so much Aai , your simple cooked meals which you prepare with only one ingredient of love, cant find that taste in any of the exotic food I end up eating every day.
I love you so much Aai, each and every sari or dress you ever bought for me is like a heirloom for me and I will continue to own them with the same pride as my heritage .

I love you so much Aai that every time someone doesn’t listen to me, I wring my head in despair and wonder how come I always have my way with you and not others.
I love you so much Aai that I want you to tell me where the hell have you kept nutmeg in the kitchen, where is the sewing thread and needle .
Aai cant find that sari you got last Diwali.
I love you so much Aai , its okay to talk to all your sisters every day and not really worry about the recharge.
I love you so much Aai , it’s ok to give me a missed call whenever you wish and I promise to promptly call you back.
I love you so much Aai, pl pl dont hide any health issues you have, we all three children are more than capable of looking after you.

I love you so much Aai that I promise I will fulfill your dream of being with you and spending time with you as and when you want .
And yes your son and your younger daughter also will.
I love you so much Aai , your grand children eyes always light up when with you.
All of them feel you are like their best buddy and they can confide in you more than they can in their parents.

I love you so much Aai , now pl relax and enjoy life. You dont need to put such long hours in kitchen or save money.
When I book a uber pl dont object and say , I will come by rickshaw.
I love you so much Aai , I want to renew your subscription for Readers Digest.
I know how much you love reading them.
I love you so much Aai, I promise to take you to eat pav bhaji at your favourite restaurant whenever you come to stay with me.
Your favourite samosa, kachori, kachi dabeli, jabeli and ofcourse your most favourite Hara bhara Kabab.

I love you so much Aai , I know you love Mumbai , will take you to Mumbai and promise to take you to marine drive, juhu and sea link which you love the most .
I love you so much Aai, will subscribe to all your favourite kannada channels so that you can watch all the serials to yours heart content.
I love you so much Aai, pl use the airconditioner in your bedroom in summers atleast , dont bother about electricity bills.

I love you so much Aai , I dont know ,
I would have come across as like I took you for granted and imagined you are like forever for me.
I love you so much Aai, thought will tell you how much I love you, how much you mean to me .
I love you so much Aai , you taught me to be a kind, empathetic person as there is no other kindred soul as you , but you never prepared me to live my life without you in it .
I love you so much Aai that I know after this recent health scare, baba has been beckoning you to come to him , but Aai you are all we have , if you go to your husband, 3 of us will be orphaned for life .

I love you so much Aai , maybe its very selfish on my part to not part with you and cling on to you.
Aai your memories, your teachings, your value system, your energy, your enthusiasm, your zest for life, your positivity towards every situation, will I ever even aspire to be close to you in any sense .
Aai I miss you so much that it hurts , it feels like a blackhole in my heart, the vaccum, the emptiness in my soul is to be experienced to understand it .
Aai love you , wish you could read all this and feel my pathos since you left me.