Driving in India especially Pune is an exasperating irritating infuriating but equally an exhilarating experience.

And if you happen to be a female who has just learnt driving , then it’s like a bolt out of the blue .

A typical day 😃

I on my wheels , prayers on my lips ( Though I am an atheist, where and when it suits me , I pray 😄)
The car spurts and suddenly comes to life, for a minute I am petrified, then regain my never say never again attitude and intently focus on my wheels.

Honking with a decrepit condition, I cautiously release the brake ( Note not accelerate ) , looking left , right through my society parking lot, and lo behold , suddenly a hot babe who knows only acceleration I guess , comes from the left side and I am stunned and the car gets rooted on the ground , the babe not bothering, zooms by and I after 2 rounds of Kapalbhati, am ready for my sojourn.

Once outside the society gate , I release a long breath and settle to drive from the left at the speed of 30 .
Dogs who chase me either when I run or drive , never disappoint me .
Like when I am running, I nimbly wait for the dogs to pass respectably before speeding ahead .

It’s still early morning and hence traffic is light , With Kishor Kumar merrily blaring and I trying to match his sur with my besura voice , abruptly a bike with a speed of 70 darts from my left side and zooms in the right direction, my heart is in mouth , thus unable to mouth obscenities .
Kishore Kumar , instantaneous on a mute mode.

Dispersal diffusion aggregation accumulation cluster mass collection convergence centralization intensification ( Before you wonder if I have lost my bearings,let me clarify), the above meaning I googled ( Concentration in scientific lingo), I mean I concentrate on getting my mass to the destination I am on .

The signal is red and I fiddle with my phone , furious honking disturbs my reverie and I look up and see the signal is still red , but the driver behind me is incensed. Why am I obstructing the traffic when roads are empty ?
I stick to my guns and refuse to move an inch , now he is mouthing obscenities, reverses and speeds away .

When the red turns green, I accelerate and start moving, good oh Lord the traffic is moving from all the directions , I am nonplussed , did my signal not turn green?
Perimenopausal women , I postulate see varying colours , maybe a visit to gynaecologist is due

The road is wider two lane , and I can now draw breath., a two wheeler in front spasmodically catches my attention , there are school bags precariously dangling on the road , apart from bags there are only two adults and 3 school going children on a bike .
I demure and silently salute the tenacity and the driving skills of the father who is driven by the fact that his children need to reach the school by hook or crook.

Feeling more secure and confident in my cocoon , I venture ahead.
A couple who believes that PDA is not only gazing in the eyes in the open , but PDA is also riding bosom to bosom.. I try to overtake from the right , but our lovers are too engrossed to let a vehicle pass them.
Blessing the lovers for spreading love , I continue to ramble ahead .

The left side road has been dug up and the traffic is diverted from the right side, huffing and puffing through one lane as the oncoming car drivers keep glaring thinking I am driving on the wrong side .

The rickshaw driver ahead of me, suddenly hauls his right foot out of his vehicle as a signal that he wants to turn right, makes me realise the ingenuity and the jugaadu nature of ‘we the people ‘ who reside in this bewildering mass of land.

Impediments in the form of diversions, obstructions, vehicles coming from the wrong side, dug up roads, electric and telephone cables strewn all over, double parked vehicles, speed breakers,( which actually break your neck rather than reduce your break neck speed) , potholes, traffic jams stretching for hours, metro work barriers, hawkers for whom roads are their karmabhoomi , garbage littered , water puddles, cattle, stray dogs, jaywalkers, unwieldy large trailers, water tankers , construction mixer trucks , unkempt shrubs on sides of the roads which obstruct your vision all jostle for your attention when you embark on a thoroughfare called Indian roads .

Lo behold, I have survived one more day and am turning right to enter my college.
The heart suddenly starts beating more than normal as I realise , I need to find a parking space.

Phew, Now that’s a pith for my next blog.